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Can I still be a Villain if…

A lot of people keep asking what actually makes a Villain. I can’t fully answer this question, even I don’t have enough information.

But, a lot of people think that they are able to define what doesn’t make a Villain.

And I think most of them are wrong to do so. You define what kind of Villain you are, so why should anybody say you’re not, simply because they don’t feel and think like you.

So, this is my list of: “Can I still be a Villain…”

…if I don’t have a tragic past?

Of course. Most people think every Villain and Hero has some kind of strange past, a trauma or a childhood nightmare that made them do what they are doing. 

Which is very often untrue. Some people just like doing villainous things, some people love to be evil, some people are fed up with the status quo and have their own way of dealing with it.

…if I don’t like killing people?

Naturally. You don’t have to be a mass murderer in order to be a Villain. A lot of Villains enjoy stealing, a lot of Villains enjoy destroying the world in general, a lot of them prefer to simply enslave mankind.

A body count doesn’t make you a Villain. Though I have to admit it makes you a little more interesting. But that is just my opinion.

…if I like “sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and everything that’s wonderful” and kittens and children and babies and flowers and many more things like that?

Yes. Those things aren’t necessarily “good”, nor do they belong exclusively to heroes, normal or good people. You are no lesser Villain for enjoying things you think that are nice or pretty. You don’t have to corrupt children or burn flowers in order to be good Villain. A lot of Villains actually sprouted (no pun indended, dear Poison Ivy) from their wish to protect the things they have connections to and like. A lot of them can be psychotic killers and still enjoy sunshine and rainbows.

…if I am in love?

Being in love, just like “pretty things” isn’t something that only belongs to those who are “good”. It can be oh so delightful to be in love with someone.

Now, there are a few situations you can be in while being a Villain in a relationship.

Being in a relationship with a fellow Villain can be the most challenging but also the most fun. Villains like to challenge each other, especially when they are in relationships. You want your spouse to be able to keep up with you, right? Also, some projects are the most fun if you don’t have to do them alone, so being in love with a fellow Villain and being loved by them can lead to the greatest, earth-shattering projects.

Being in a relationship with a non-Villain can be tough, though it depends on the level of support your partner offers you. Do they love your evil deeds? Are they comfortable with being your second-in-command or your supporting partner once you have conquered other planets? Are they simply not made for the excitment of burning your favourite Hero to hate to a crisp? You should be fine. Just because they don’t want to be a Villain, doesn’t mean that they won’t be there for you.

Now, in the unfortunate event that you are in love with a good person or - heavens forbid - a hero… I can’t really help you there. I know that love is irrational and often causes problems, but I can tell you that those kind of relationships don’t last and often end in desaster. If you can’t manage to hide your secret or not-so-secret evildoings from them, there will be trouble. So, if you can’t manage to tell yourself not to love them and you are not able to destroy them, I wish you the best of luck.

You’ll need it.

…if I am a parent?

This is similar to the point above. If your hard work leaves you enough time to put a small bundle of evil in the world, I congratulate you from the deepest pits of my heart. Being a parent and a Villain can be tough, but it is possible.

I am not going to talk to you about upbringing, that is up to you, no questions.

The only tip I am giving you here is: There will be that moment in your child’s life where you have to decide, where will they go? Will they be your fellow Villain eventually, maybe taking over the family business? Will the decision be up to them? Will you give them enough space that they could turn into a good person?

Consider those questions, they will come up eventually.

…if I don’t look like a Villain?

My dearest darklings, you don’t have to look like a stereotypical Villain to be one. You can have the brightest and bubbliest personality, you can be short, you can have big eyes and be considered cute by other people.

It doesn’t matter, as I said before, what you look like and what you adore doesn’t make you the Villain. Your wishes, goals and actions make you a Villain. Your own definition makes you one. So, if people don’t think you can be evil, bloodthirsty or anything else. Prove it.

Show them.

…if I do good things to help and support people, such as fellow Villains?

Where would we be without the others?

You can support anyone you want to, you can even support good people, that doesn’t make you a bad Villain. Being a Villain isn’t one-dimensional, it isn’t just killing and destroying and building death rays. It is your life, and you decide what to do with it. (I apologize for getting so corny, I really do.)

Remember, there are a lot of Villains who help a lot. Like the Gentleman who leads the Evil Supply Company.

Helping others, especially your fellow Villains might be a good thing, but, even good things don’t belong to good people. In fact, nothing belongs to good people.

Everything is ours.

I hope I could help you a bit (see? I try to help, too).


- The Procrastinator

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